can i tell you a secret? i think that part of my soul has died… im not being emo, or an emotional teen. im not even a teen. yes i do have to admit i am emotional though, things cut me a little deeper, and bruises stay a little longer. but the last couple years on top of the previous 25, have been progressively miserable. i got into a heated “fight” i guess you could say with my husband.. i really hate calling him that now.  but anyway, i think it was finally too much for me. as he be-raided me in his never ending quest to remind me of how worthless i am because im not skinny, i could feel the small flickering light inside me begin to dim, slowly dimmer and dimmer, as though my soul were a candle and someone put the lid on it, slowly the oxygen leaving, and then nothing but darkness and smoke.  since then i have felt rather empty, i feel nothing, the occasional tinge of darkness and despair will sweep over me like the wind, and then again„ nothing… i have slept about 2 hours in the past 3 days. and i havent eaten in 2 days. i am just this empty, hollow, nothing… ive never felt like this before.. i think it was finally too much… i think im finally dead…